This Is All

Junior Follows Suit

A few days after being traded to the White Sox Ken Griffey Junior followed the lead of fellow Rotund Ohioan, CC Sabathia, and sent out a thank you to his previous organization.

At times when you think of players like Chad Johnson and the like demanding trades and being generally unruly it's good to see two players who are or have been at the top of the game show that not all class is gone.

Thanks Junior, for helping renew the faith that not everyone is a jerk.

Maybe the Classiest Move in Sports

CC didn't owe Cleveland anything and he took this out as a full page ad in the Plain Dealer. It cost the big fella almost $13,000. Best of luck in Milwaukee CC. Best of luck.

CC's ad.

Cleveland: Not on the Titletown USA List

Failure. It seems to have become a trend in the big city by Lake Erie.

Two years ago the Cavs powered their way through the Eastern Conference in the playoffs. Towards the end of the series it seemed as though Lebron could win some games playing 1 on 5. This gave Cleveland fans hope, maybe even optimism headed in to The Finals. Then this happened: And while the sweep by the Spurs disappointing, the formula seemed to be there for Cleveland to succeed in the coming years.

It turned out most of that optimism was misplaced. A ho-hum regular season followed by a second round playoff exit left most Cavs fans with a bad taste in their mouth.

Then there are the Indians. They were a game away from a World Series against a burnt out Rockies team that would have struggled to beat Danny Almonte and the rest of the "Baby Bombers." The Indians suffered the effects of having a burnt out ace, a tired rookie as their #2 and a third base coach who didn't trust Kenny Lofton's speed.

Expectations for this season were sky high. Our DH who had been an MVP candidate 2 years ago had a down year, two of the five starters to start the year ended up in AAA (Lee and Sowers), Cabrera and Gutierrez were called up late and were huge and could only improve. Garko turned into an above average everyday first baseman and could only improve. Joe Bo had an ERA over 5.

All of these things improved were supposed to make this season one of magic for the Indians. Instead, it's not even the end of July and we've traded our ace, both of our second baseman have been sent down, we're playing Andy Marte everyday at third base, Joe-Bo has been cut, and we've traded Casey Blake. This is where they stand: 13 games back, 12 games under .500, and last in the central. The season has been over for a while and they're just testing out the young guns.

All in all, the season has been a colossal disappointment. 99-66 a year ago and looking more like they'll reverse that record this season. Needless to say, it's been a tough six months for Cleveland sports fans and the only hope of improving belongs to this guy.



This guy may seem promising. 10-6 last year. A year in which we traded our starting quarterback after one game. But this is a new year and as we've learned, that means bad things in Cleveland sports terminology. That was the rallying cry for both the Indians and the Cavs for this season along with the Browns who narrowly missed the playoffs last winter. However, the Browns of this year are faced with a daunting task: not playing a pansy-ass schedule.

I'll give you a recap of how the Browns got to 10-6 last year: the teams they beat last year had a combined record of 55-105 for a winning percentage of 34%. In this collection of awfulness there was just one team with a winning record: the Seahawks and that win came in Cleveland in overtime. The Seahawks had a winning record as a result of being in the worst division in football. Two games a year against each of the Cardinals (8-8), Rams (3-13), and 49ers (5-11) will do that.

The best road win the Browns managed to put out last year was at 5-11 Baltimore. The combined record of the teams the Browns beat on the road last year was 12-36. Their only home loss last year was in week 1 to the Steelers when they started Charlie Frey.

This year, the Dawg Pound is in for a rude awakening in Cleveland Browns Stadium. Last year they enjoyed the luxury of playing just 2 teams at home who finished with a winning record (Steelers, Seahawks) and won just one of those games. The combined record of teams they faced at home last year was 53-75. This year half their home games involve teams with winning records from last year (Cowboys, Steelers, Giants, Colts) and the combined record from last year of all 8 visiting teams was 73-55.

While the home schedule seems daunting, the road schedule should scare you more.

Consider this; last year the Browns best road win was at 5-11 Baltimore. This year, that's their easiest road game. The Browns play just 3 teams with losing records, one of whom (Bengals) they lost to last year on the road. The other 5 road games this year includes the Eagles, Skins, Jags, Titans, and the Steelers. For a team that managed to beat no team on the road last year with more than 5 wins, this doesn't bode well. The record last year the Browns faced on the road was a dismal 57-71 (and that included the Patriots), this year: 67-61. Needless to say, there could be quite a few long, silent flights home in the Browns players future.

Hopefully this serves as a warning to all Cleveland sports fans: don't expect a good season. We've seen it happen with both of our other sports teams. High hopes, high goals, huge failures. Look at it this way, if you expect a collapse like this, you're either right or pleasantly surprised and either one of those two would be better than what Cleveland's last two seasons have produced.

It's About That Time Jerry Sloan

Jerry Sloan has been coaching the Utah Jazz for two decades. I heard the other night that in the time he has been coaching the Jazz there have over 200 coaching moves made throughout the NBA. In that time he's been fortunate enough to coach some outstanding talents.

Karl Malone (pronounced Cawl Muh-Woe'n) was a 12 time all-star, was selected to the top 50 players in NBA history, was a 2 time MVP, finished second only behind Kareem in career points, finished seventh in career rebounds, and averaged 25 and 10 for his career. John Stockton was also selected as one of the 50 greatest players and ended his career as the NBA leader in both steals and assists. In assists Stockton (15,806) has a lead of over 5000 on Mark Jackson (10,334) and Magic Johnson (10,141). In steals Stockton (3,265) betters the number 2 Michael Jordan (2,514) by over 700. This pair playing together only managed two trips to the finals, both losses.

Add to that Sloan has some star power and some talent this year. Carlos Boozer, Deron Williams, and Andrei Kirilenko provide a core of two forwards who have both been all-stars and one of the league's best point guards. Kyle Korver brought in on a trade seemed to fill a big need and give the Jazz a spark upon arrival. This provides a young, solid core of players. It would be a shame to see them wasted in the same way as previous talent in Utah has been under Jerry Sloan's watch.

In fairness to Jerry, he should have a chance with this group of players, but there should be a short leash. This season and maybe next. If he can't get it done, it's time to bring in someone who will take Utah to the championship level. If J. Sloan isn't the man for the job, then it's time to bid him farewell in Utah. Jerry has made the Jazz respectable and competitive and that certainly earns him some recognition. At the same time Utah can't be expected to wait around forever for Sloan to figure out how to win the big one.

While Jerry Sloan has had a fairly successful career, the people in Utah need to realize that you can't continue to leave well enough alone. If the goal is to make the playoffs every season with no need for a title, it seems as though they have the man for the job. However, if the Jazz are looking for some hardware it seems apparent that they should be on the search for a new coach before they start losing their talent either to other teams or old age.

Tribe develops new game plan, Laffey blows it

Tribe hitting this season has been, to say the least, under par (.236 as a team, 28th in the league as of May 15). The starting pitcher rotation has apparently decided to undermine the shit-tacluar hitting with a new strategy, not letting the other team score runs. This of course has been led by the ungodly 0.67, MLB-leading ERA of Cliff "Yeah I was in the minors last year" Lee, who decided to make up for some unexpectedly slow starts.

Aaron Laffey, who is currently occupying injured Jake Westbrook's position in the rotation, pitched a good game today, but did not meet Tribe standards, giving up one run on a throwing error. It ended Cleveland starters' 44 1/3 inning streak of not allowing runs. Despite the fact that this run was unearned, it shows a sign of weakness on Laffey's part. He decided he could depend on the hitters to make up for his errors. It worked out today, but just ask Kevin Millwood about depending on Tribe hitting. Maybe Aaron should take some advice from Cliff. 0 runs means you can't lose (only the bullpen can blow it then). If he keeps this up, Cleveland might just have to send him to the minors, so he can have a 0.06 ERA next year.

I WANT MY 23 CENT PIZZA!!!

(mmm...pizza...it costs how much!!!)


Cleveland fans have taken a step forward in fighting the man Papa Johns for their disrespect of the King. The pizza company has responded in apology by offering a 23 cent pizza deal to Cleveland residents to make up for their mistakes (and to avoid losing lots of money in Cleveland to angry, overly-obsessed fans. As a life-long Cleveland fan and native, I feel the "Crybaby"" T-shirts were hilarious terribly offensive, so I am officially petitioning for my 23 cent pizza, even though I no longer live in Cleveland.

Columbus area Papa Johns, beware!

In other news, Brave Sir Robin is currently stalking Virginia Papa Johns locations with three quarters, demanding three pizzas and 6 cents back.

Making a Case for the East

Looking at the regular season numbers, it seems clear that the Western Conference clearly dominates the NBA. All 8 teams from the west in this year's playoffs are 50 win teams, while the east had 2 teams enter under .500. But numbers don't always tell the full story.

To take a couple of examples, let's look at the 1-8 and 2-7 matchups in both conferences this season. In the west, the Nuggets never stood a chance in the only sweep of the first round. The Mavs had inklings of hope but still only managed one win 2 years after reaching the NBA finals. The east, on the other hand, has produced two of the most exciting, if not the two most excitings, series so far, in what were predicted to be sweeps. The 8th seed Hawks just forced a game 7 against the team with the best regular season record in the league, and the young Sixers forced 6 games against the big, bad Pistons. And even though the Pistons came out ahead, as the Celtics likely will, these matchups show the reality of the situation. The lower teams in the east are not quite a pushover.

The fact that the Nuggets won 50 games meant nothing against the Lakers. On the other hand, the 37-win Hawks have been able to take all their home games from Boston. We have seen things like this in the regular season too, with teams like Milwaukee, Chicago, and Charlotte, on given nights, taking on the top teams like Detroit, Boston, Orlando, and Cleveland. Records aside, the lower teams in the east know how to matchup and compete with the top teams, and we don't see this as often in the west. The slower, half-court style of play has a lot to do with this. And as we see with the Suns, this recent trend of run and gun basketball may be coming to an end.

Finally, in any analysis of the NBA, you have to look at the future. Young teams like the Sixers and Hawks are showing that they're gonna stick around awhile. In the west, however, teams like Phoenix and Dallas, who have been powerhouses the last few years, are starting to show age. But teams like Golden State and Denver don't quite seem ready to take over. The big names of both conferences (Lakers, Spurs, Celtics, Pistons) still have a couple years of dominance left in them, with some teams waiting to take control (New Orleans, Utah, Orlando, Cleveland). But the younger, up and coming teams are the ones that are truly going to show the strength of the conference. And teams like Atlanta and Philadelphia, maybe even Toronto, have something to say about the seemingly pitiful East, with even lower teams (like Chicago and Charlotte) showing potential to develop into threats.

At the Half

HELL YES BOOBIE!!!!!!

Biggest Upset Ever?

I'm rooting for the Hawks with all of my might. The only thing that would make me happier than the Celtics dominating the regular season and getting knocked out in the first round the same year the Patriots lost their perfect record in the Super Bowl would be if the Pistons joined the Celtics watching rounds 2-4 from home.

Ironically, the KG gatorade commercial that declares that you have two choices (be history or make history) just came on as I was typing this up. Well, I don't know how much irony there is since that thing comes on about 15 times every quarter.

However, the Celtics are now all tied up with the Hawks going back to Boston. Now, I'm not going to say the Hawks are going to win the series. To be honest, I'd be absolutely shocked if the Celtics don't win this thing in six. But, for the sake of argument, let's say they don't. Let's say that the Hawks win this thing. How big of an upset would this thing be?

I would have to say this would far surpass the Dallas / Golden State Series from last year. If Bill Simmons gets his way (an aside: I just about had an aneurysm when I read Bill Simmons' love letter to Rajon Rondo. When I recover from my stroke, I'm going to go after that. Borderline all-star my ass), both series would feature the MVP losing in the first round. Last year though, the Warriors were the eighth seed because Baron Davis missed a ton of games. This year, the Hawks are the eighth seed because they're not good. Sure, they can jump out of the building, but they definitely have giant flaws.

I would have to say that it's not even close between these two. The Hawks over a Celtics team which includes KG, Paul Pierce, and the shooting touch of Ray Allen is much bigger than the Warriors beating Dirk and his inconsistent supporting cast.

What about previous upsets? The only one that really comes to my mind is Denver over Seattle. However, I really think the seven game series inherently are bigger upsets because they're so much harder to pull off.

Besides, what will this do to KG's legacy? For a long time he's been criticized for not winning anything.

Kevin Garnett was a finalist to play the villian in Casino Royale. He lost that battle too.

KG never even got out of the first round of the playoffs until Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell showed up. Now, he's in a weaker conference and has a better supporting cast and he can't even get out of the first round? From the guy that Simmons declared would go head to head against Duncan to decide once and for all who was better? I mean, it's unfair to place everything on KG, but I find it hard to believe that the Hawks would be tied with the Celts if Duncan was anchoring the Celtics offense instead.

Frankly, I kinda view KG as the Karl Malone of our generation. Great numbers, someone who everyone will look back at and argue that he was possibly the best ever. However, he's most like Malone in that he's not about to get you there himself. In fact, he needs someone else to carry him (like Cassell in the 2004 playoffs) just like Stockton was really the heart and soul of those Jazz teams and made Malone the player he was. If the Celtics lose this series, KG's legacy may be one of being less clutch than even Malone.